JUL
17
2013
Moyesy's 1st Day At Manure
6 comments
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According to The Daily Mash then Moyes' fist day at Manure went something like this:

8am: Arrive at work to find my parking space still has 'SAF' painted on it. Discuss this with security guard who suggests I change my name to something with those initials. Return to car to find transfer request from Wayne under windscreen wiper.

So far, everyone seems really nice

9.30am: Finish clearing office of empty wine bottles. Had hoped cleaning staff might have got round to this in the last two months. Several bottles have notes in them. Stopped reading after the first two or three as they were all transfer requests from Wayne. Must have a chat with the lad later.

11am: Meet the coaches and physios, all of whom are wearing t-shirts with Alex Ferguson's face on it. When I tell them I'm looking forward to working with them, they all start humming under their breath and coughing the word 'resign'. The tea lady then asks me to have a big mouthful of the cuppa she made specially for me and starts giggling.

Noon: Eat sandwiches at desk in my office. Corned beef and Branston pickle. Wife forgot to pack Kit Kat. Must add 'remind wife to pack Kit Kat for lunch' to my to-do list.

1pm: First work email arrives. IT told me david.moyes@manchesterunited.com was already taken, which seems odd, so was given email address tempmanager174 instead. Email is from an anonymous Hotmail account. It's a Photoshopped picture of me bumming Ron Atkinson.

1.10pm: Second email arrives. Series of links to big houses in London on the Rightmove website. I reply, asking Wayne to come into my office when he's got a second.

2pm: Have a bit of a cry in the toilets. Phone my wife and ask her if she thinks I've done the right thing. No answer.

3pm: My last transfer kitty at Everton was a set of used bibs and a poster of Thomas Gravesen, so excited to get the folder outlining my budget for this season.

4.30pm: Wake up on office carpet with bump on forehead. Think I must have fainted a bit. Look at all the noughts on the transfer kitty and daydream about how many Nuno Valentes that would buy.

5pm: Decide to knock off a bit early. Wayne is stood by my car with a pen and a big sheaf of papers. Maybe he wants my autograph?

Good luck Davey, you are going to need it!

 

 

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Comments about Moyesy's 1st Day At Manure
 
6
Who cares moyes has gone, were now going to play attractive football and win trophys, united are going to play long ball defend a one nil lead and win fuck all......looks like we got the best deal
Mick dowd, Old roan, 5:02 PM 18/07/2013
 
5
Moyesy was brilliant for us and I wish him all the best.
L, London, 11:23 PM 17/07/2013
 
4
HAHA brilliant, thats given me a right little giggle that has. well done!
Gilly1878, Everywhere, 4:54 PM 17/07/2013
 
3
Moyes and Atkinson thing - are we sure it was photoshopped? There have been rumours, that's all I'm saying...
GD, Liverpool, 3:26 PM 17/07/2013
 
2
Nice little skit.(I did spell it right)Probably not too far off either.I hope he fairs OK, I have loads of time for him.I hope Manure fail (I was going to say crash and burn,but thought better of it),but Davie did OK by us and I wish him,not the shower he manages now, all the very best.
Willy Eckerslyke, Rainhill, 2:41 PM 17/07/2013
 
1
Ha poor Moyes! Not too many players taking him seriously either. Go Google "Theago reveals why he turned down Man United" (talksport.com) it's a riot!
Doug, Liverpool, 1:46 PM 17/07/2013
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