Ronald Ragin...
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The Blues today announced a major transfer scoop, with the signing of Weatherfield County's goalkeeper, Albie Shufflebottom, on a four-year contract.

A clearly ecstatic Billy Bullsh*tter addressed the massed hordes of pressmen......."This is a major coup for us, as not only is Albie a class goalkeeper, we also believe he is the first 'goalie-and-out' to sign for a Premier League Club. Being so versatile and having a free-roaming role, he is equally adept at covering all across the back four, and is known to take a mean penalty or two. Also, with being a fictional character, he has cost us nothing, requires no wages, and will not demand a transfer. A perfect signing in fact. It also demonstrates that, despite my constant and committed 27-hour per day search for investors not being successful, my show business contacts are prepared to produce the goods for us in other ways. I am really happy, and feel that this is a new dawn for the Club!!"

It is understood that Lego Head Hughes was also in the running for Shufflebottom's signature, but decided that the step up to such a big club as Manchester City may be too much for the youngster too handle.

Unfortunately, Weatherfield County's crestfallen manager, Roy Cropper, was less happy...."With this transfer, we've lost half our team and need to buy another five or six players. However, we couldn't stand in the lad's way - he is ambitious, even if the Club he's gone to isn't!!"

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