DEC
12
2014
Mickey Blue Eyes...
Klutz of Gunsels Update
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Murdoch Journos Get Their Come Uppance
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KLUTZ OF GUNSELS UPDATE

By

Mickey Blue Eyes

 

 

The January "transfer window" looms. Best get yourself ready for it.

 

It has taken some time - almost two decades - but it seems the penny has actually dropped that the whole thing is a charade of phony hysteria in both mainstream and social media. In the mainstream even sensible team-building takes second place to lies and planted stories designed to whip up "controversy" or fly a kite for a move or a signing. In social media it is the modern equivalent of two owl women hitching up their sagging tits to gossip over the back garden fence, or a puerile soap opera written by Donald Duck. Fortunately only the most idiotic fans go along with it; but sadly there are still enough of them to keep the farce on stage.

 

There is a part-antidote to all the nonsense: limit transfers to, say, a single four week period in summer, closing date two weeks before the start of season. All clubs would then have to make do with their squad for a full season. There would be relative stability. Of course it is not perfect because few human measures are, but it would still be better than the present arrangement. It would also help you avoid a visceral instinct to punch anybody who introduces himself as a journalist. Almost anything is welcome that helps reduce false claptrap surrounding the game. If we could get it down to civilised levels it would help eliminate the likes of Rupert Murdoch and his toady employees, a prospect that would have decent people everywhere dancing in the streets. Many would even pay Murdoch's bus fare back to Boomerang City.

 

The biggest administrative problem with the present twice-a-year transfer windows arrangement is that the clubs have settled for it. So have the players and their agents. Guilty journalists live off the back of it......some of them even take bribes to help create unrest in players, or do it just for cheap mischief. Thus it has become institutionalised. It is in all their short term interests to maintain the status quo  of quasi-frenzy. Owners can chase "success," players and agents can chase more money, gossiping journalists can fill columns and air time and thus keep themselves in a job. All of it is a self-deceptive house of cards whose only effect is to increase an air of illusion and unreal expectation.

 

The fact is the game is nothing if it cannot exist without acknowledging "success" as ephemeral, that team-building takes time, that new players can fail as readily as they succeed, that there are no guarantees for anyone, that chance even now plays a central role and that almost every game has phases of mediocre play. Everything can dribble through your fingers like quicksilver. So stability and common sense have to figure somewhere. Twice-a-year transfer windows have precisely the opposite effect.

 

Some media claims are so obviously planted or manufactured they comprise little more than light relief. Where manufactured it would be interesting to see the outcome of legal action against the perpetrator: difficult, yes, but it might be worth it to see it loosen a few journo bowels. Where planted there might even be a case for corruption charges or breach of contract. Anyone who doubts media would stoop so low need only consult the proceedings of the Leveson Inquiry and what it tells you about a dominant corrupt feature of modern journalism. If the culprits - all you need do is check the number of hacks sent to jail - will behave thus over serious matters they are scarcely likely to back off something as trivial as football.

 

Until there is a determined effort to clean the whole thing up by the Premier League, FA, UEFA and FIFA it would be better to treat the whole thing as a comedy. If that fails your test you can only burst into tears. And who wants to do that at this time of the year? So get yourself ready for all the ins and outs stories. If you do not know the dreary plot by now you must have been asleep for the last quarter century.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments about Klutz of Gunsels Update
3
Spot on. Get rid of the January window and clubs might also have to start playing their youth players in lieu of bringing in expensive replacements for failing players. Can only be a good thing.
Generous George, Kyoto, 3:05 PM 15/12/2014
2
Obstructed view...are you drunk again?
Dave, Co Durham , 11:10 AM 14/12/2014
1
And were just getting reports that Bear Grylls has just been spotted outside Millets,the new shop by Central Station,we hear that he's weighing up a move for a £10 pair of gaiters,this has thrown the whole scenario into confusion,as an earlier anonymous source contacted our Sky Sports Studio and in a pathetic form of voice,that wavered from broad Aberdonian to something resembling a hybrid of Don Corleone/Sir Trevor McDonald was telling us he had been seen inside Cotswold Outdoor Shop just around the corner on Church Street looking at making a move for a North Face Walking Stick...Ridiculous of course it is,just on par with the ever increasing carnival,circus,masquerade,doctor where's my heart tablets?..i can't keep up with it all..it's overwhelming me to the point of self demise.I thoroughly hate the way the game is going and this cultivated for the TV audience deadline desperateness of will he wont he poker faced insincere temporary career moves,insult us no end,admittedly there are some transfers that do have a ring of genuineness surrounding them,but were not that oblivious that we know clubs are just stepping stones for players and painfully so the piranha agents too.Our game i feel is pulling away from us,not in a seismic fashion,but a trickle of good slowly being replaced by watered down Sepp Blatter's cropping up everywhere.The sooner a huge overhaul and on going investigatory process at F.I.F.A. is under starter's order's,then we can eventually address these bloody transfer life is a Cabaret old chum,come to the Cabaret...Increase the Peace,by reducing the transfer lease.
the obsructed view, liverpool, 10:29 AM 13/12/2014
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