KLUTZ OF GUNSELS UPDATE
Mickey Blue Eyes
The January "transfer window" looms. Best get yourself ready for it.
It has taken some time - almost two decades - but it seems the penny has actually dropped that the whole thing is a charade of phony hysteria in both mainstream and social media. In the mainstream even sensible team-building takes second place to lies and planted stories designed to whip up "controversy" or fly a kite for a move or a signing. In social media it is the modern equivalent of two owl women hitching up their sagging tits to gossip over the back garden fence, or a puerile soap opera written by Donald Duck. Fortunately only the most idiotic fans go along with it; but sadly there are still enough of them to keep the farce on stage.
There is a part-antidote to all the nonsense: limit transfers to, say, a single four week period in summer, closing date two weeks before the start of season. All clubs would then have to make do with their squad for a full season. There would be relative stability. Of course it is not perfect because few human measures are, but it would still be better than the present arrangement. It would also help you avoid a visceral instinct to punch anybody who introduces himself as a journalist. Almost anything is welcome that helps reduce false claptrap surrounding the game. If we could get it down to civilised levels it would help eliminate the likes of Rupert Murdoch and his toady employees, a prospect that would have decent people everywhere dancing in the streets. Many would even pay Murdoch's bus fare back to Boomerang City.
The biggest administrative problem with the present twice-a-year transfer windows arrangement is that the clubs have settled for it. So have the players and their agents. Guilty journalists live off the back of it......some of them even take bribes to help create unrest in players, or do it just for cheap mischief. Thus it has become institutionalised. It is in all their short term interests to maintain the status quo of quasi-frenzy. Owners can chase "success," players and agents can chase more money, gossiping journalists can fill columns and air time and thus keep themselves in a job. All of it is a self-deceptive house of cards whose only effect is to increase an air of illusion and unreal expectation.
The fact is the game is nothing if it cannot exist without acknowledging "success" as ephemeral, that team-building takes time, that new players can fail as readily as they succeed, that there are no guarantees for anyone, that chance even now plays a central role and that almost every game has phases of mediocre play. Everything can dribble through your fingers like quicksilver. So stability and common sense have to figure somewhere. Twice-a-year transfer windows have precisely the opposite effect.
Some media claims are so obviously planted or manufactured they comprise little more than light relief. Where manufactured it would be interesting to see the outcome of legal action against the perpetrator: difficult, yes, but it might be worth it to see it loosen a few journo bowels. Where planted there might even be a case for corruption charges or breach of contract. Anyone who doubts media would stoop so low need only consult the proceedings of the Leveson Inquiry and what it tells you about a dominant corrupt feature of modern journalism. If the culprits - all you need do is check the number of hacks sent to jail - will behave thus over serious matters they are scarcely likely to back off something as trivial as football.
Until there is a determined effort to clean the whole thing up by the Premier League, FA, UEFA and FIFA it would be better to treat the whole thing as a comedy. If that fails your test you can only burst into tears. And who wants to do that at this time of the year? So get yourself ready for all the ins and outs stories. If you do not know the dreary plot by now you must have been asleep for the last quarter century.