DEC
03
2014
Mickey Blue Eyes...
Everton V Hull City
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TO HULL AND BACK

By

Mickey Blue Eyes

 

The last thing we needed at home to Hull City on a cold December Wednesday night was a repeat of the awful Swansea game, or, worse, the debilitating Tottenham match. Those horrors would make anybody shudder......and not from winter cold. Then again, this season we swivel every whichways trying to follow our form. Put everything together and the wonder is we are not sobbing en masse  on a giant couch in a Rodney Street consulting room; even veteran Evertonians who should know better mutter to themselves, dawn shaving foam everywhere except on the chin. Sigmund Freud would love it. Tennessee Williams could get a new play out of it, Roberto as Blanche DuBois. Eddy Braben could write another script for Eric and Ernie, Roberto on the staircase as Shirley Bassey with a large boot on one foot. Crazy, the lot of us. No wonder.

 

In the grotesque deluded world of fans chauvinism, Everton branch, this game was paladin V goblin, even though the clubs were separated by a mere six points and seven places in the Premier League table. In fact if we (11th) lost we would sink nearer to a possible relegation dog fight; if Hull (18th) lost they would further embed in the bottom three to add to their renaming woes. A draw would mean yet more unwanted confirmation of current mediocrity of both. At the pre-match rate we could already forget the top four, then eight points distant but with this game in hand. Clearly an important contest not to be taken lightly. Nobody had the faintest idea which Everton would turn up.

 

As it transpired, it wasn't as bad as the Swansea match.

 

It was worse.

 

In fact it was worse than that  plus the worst of the Tottenham game. It was a pitiful, unprofessional performance in which we once again failed to hold on to a lead: it ended 1-1. Our two best players were Muhamed Bešić and Kevin Mirallas who, for whatever reason, were both substituted, which sort of summed up the night. Flashes of individual brilliance apart - and they were in short supply anyway - our game was littered with an all too familiar negativity of sideways and backward metronomics, misplaced passes, lack of determination and creativity and hapless defending. For long periods of the second half we were once again second best. Once again midfield was a shapeless, clueless morass. Once the substitutions were made there looked only one winner, and it wasn't us. Suspicion dawns Roberto's tactics have been rumbled, nullified, countered, and even become a liability. They may work in European competition, but in England?

 

A few more league displays like this and we will be well and truly back to the bad old days and up to our necks in a relegation battle. Nor is it easy to see how matters will come right even when injuries clear, if ever. Sadly for us, all our veteran players have "lost it" all at the same time, but even that fails to explain why the triumvirate of Tim Howard-Phil Jagielka-Sylvain Distin has suddenly become churned mulch, odd game excepted (like Wolfsburg). However, it would help if defenders and midfielders alike would recognise the advantages of passing forward instead of across or back. No wonder poor old Romelu Lukaku is beginning to look like a lonely orphan up front. At the final whistle there were boos. I didn't join in, but I know how they felt. Like them, all I can do is hope this is just an unlucky bad run........

 

Next, Manchester City away. If this latest pile of dung is anything to go by best get yourself ready for the father and mother of all hidings. Lose that heavily, other results go against us, and we will be firmly in the bottom half of the table. Which, come to think of it, is all sideways-backwards football deserves.

 

 

 

Comments about Everton V Hull City
10
Cannot believe the negativity here and I am astounded I am the first to comment on it. We haven't been great the last few games, and 4 wins from 14 isn't good enough. But hang on eh!? How fickle are we!? Why do we boo?! Does that make you feel better? Yes, we pay the money to watch the footy. Yes, the brand of football we played this year hasn't materialised yet this season.... but its only Xmas and there is a long way to go. Get grip you lot and get behind our team and our Bobby. It's at times like this when they need us most. Top of this site states "Call y'self an Evertonion?"... some of you on here don't deserve to.
Bluenose , Blue Heaven , 3:51 PM 5/12/2014
9
Get shut of Howard ,jagielka and Distin for starters.They were washed up a couple of years ago.Why do we persevere with these players that just get older and slower year after year. Its making people angry now this piss poor football.
mark, north wales, 5:16 PM 4/12/2014
8
At 2. The only chance of getting in the Champions League or winning a cup is the Europa League. It's VITAL to our season.
J, Liverpool, 2:47 PM 4/12/2014
7
Word for word bang on the money Mickey.That was as poor a showing since Steve Bruce decided to cultivate another head on top of the one he's already grew.The substitutions were that baffling dear old Lieutenant Colombo couldn't have deciphered them.The two players who were having a go and looked like unlocking a rarely ventured Hull defence get the hook(astounding).This was abject down and dirty embarrassing a performance.It was a stone cold certainty they were going to equalise,defending and goalkeeping just plain heartless.You always get that here we go again sensation at Goodison,usually mapped out after 3-7 minutes that the players are numb and so are the paying customers.This was classic kick you in the guts and squeeze your frozen garden peas off,Everton,big,bold and CRASS.Romelu must be the easiest centre forward to mark in the Premier League,admittedly the service is non existent,but his first and second touches are as clinical as an Alan Shearer funny story.They don't half disappoint our boys in blue.Hardly any conviction was spotted last night,but a ton of pitta patta in our own half,people are paying big money nowadays and it is maximised ten fold when watching dross,which it was at the quiet Old Lady 24 hours previous.You get a measure of the mood at games like this,folk can't even be bothered to exercise their artillery of expletives.Just stare in a catatonic state,wishing they were in Honolulu getting a bronzy.No it was spineless and devoid of any umph! last night,the players weren't even geeing each other up nor dishing out any motivational retorts,you just feel cheated,taken to the cleaners and abducted by the fraud squad,will it improve come Saturday night,realistically no,Sergio is one hot potato in the form of his life,were as were playing like a bag of McCains frozen crinkle cut chips hidden in the bowels of an Iceland freezer.
the obsructed view, liverpool, 11:39 AM 4/12/2014
6
Worst we've played in YEARS. I'm speechless :o(
Paul, Warrington, 11:26 AM 4/12/2014
5
Put all these comments from the first 4 emails together, MBE's comments and it still doesn't describe how bad we were.
John, Australia, 9:14 AM 4/12/2014
4
Bring in Ryan Shawcross like we were meant to in the summer to replace Distin. Line Stones up to replace Jags, that will help out defence greatly. Offload Gibson and replace him with Lewis Holtby, Song or even Sandro from QPR. Something needs to happen in January otherwise we are done for.
Phil, Stockport, 5:56 AM 4/12/2014
3
MBE summed up what I'm sure most of us felt, utter crap, possibly the worst performance I've watched in 40+ years of watching the Blues. Can't trap, pass, shoot, dribble, take a corner, you name it, we couldn't do it tonight. Worse for me we were out-worked in our own ground by a Championship-level side. Disgraceful. Time for a few players to be dropped, give the youngsters a run out, at least they'd show a bit of energy.
VirginiaBlue, Virginia USA, 2:12 AM 4/12/2014
2
No disrespect to MBE but there comes a time when simple words will do; WE WERE SHITE. Please tell me I'm not the only Blue to be on tenterhooks as we pass the ball along the halfway line. We're really not good at that. No, we need to get the ball in the top third and PRESS. That requires stamina, and stamina is absent under RM. Personally I don't give a shite for the Europa League. THE contest is the league we're in every week. Get a grip Martinez............this ain't Wigan/Swansea.
Don Alexander, Birkenhead, 1:58 AM 4/12/2014
1
Osman, Distin and Pienaar disgraceful performances. Not good enough.
J, Liverpool , 12:47 AM 4/12/2014
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