MAR
02
2011
Mickey Blue Eyes...
READING THE RUNES
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READING THE RUNES

By

Mickey Blue Eyes

 

Fresh off the back of the usual demolition job on Sunderland you would expect an equally routine rogering of lower league Reading in the FA Cup. Last time I checked the league tables the opposition were tenth in the Football League Championship and had scored fifty-one goals and let in thirty-nine for a goal difference of plus twelve. So, more or less average. To our great glee last season they knocked out our loveable neighbours at analfield, and oh how we laffed. All of which meant we would probably have a struggle on our hands if the Cup was its usual self.

 

Superficially, Reading can't claim an outstanding history because almost their entire modest existence has been spent in the lower divisions. However, they did experience a relatively admirable couple of decades and even spent two unexpected seasons in the Prem before sinking as quickly as they surfaced. It wasn't a bad achievement at all for one of those characterless, antiseptic suburban Tory towns that ring corrupt London like a Maginot Line trooped with Sun and Daily Mail readers and a smattering of UKIP nutters. Up to their brief encounter with footy fame you were likely to know more about Godalming Bell Ringers or Bracknell Methodists than you were about Reading. But in reality professional football couldn't exist without clubs like them and their fans. Actually, they are the bedrock of the game that shame our own small band of whining, ale-house hollow imbeciles. Needless to say the latter would be on miserable standby in the event we met playing disaster. As we all know, it doesn't take much to trigger them into neurotic reaction.

 

And when we lost - thoroughly and deservedly to a quite modest side - you can guarantee the usual dick head suspects will come flooding out of the sewers and manholes to howl their poison. Not that there was much of a defence. It was an appalling display by a bunch of players with little individual or collective pride, much the way it has been on too many occasions this season. You couldn't blame the decent Evertonians for booing. This season they have endured enough. Anyway, it doesn't matter too much because this team is about to be broken up by circumstances. We have to start all over again.

 

In the end it was like being mugged by a lower middle class Winnie the Pooh with a funny accent.

 

 

Comments about READING THE RUNES
31
Come on Reading!!!!!!! Just because I wear a stupid grin all the time and have a mouth like a torn slipper and talk little england shite it doesn't make me a 'smattering'. Vote UKIP and stay southern English like Reading!!!!
Nigel Farrago, UKIP Leader, 2:44 PM 6/03/2011
30
Spilled me coffee all over me keyboard with that Tory Town jibe tovarich, looks like an ice pick in the head for some.
Leon Trotsky, Somewhere in Mexico, 7:43 PM 4/03/2011
29
Methinks you struck several humourless nerves there Micky. That Andrew Osnard is WEIRD. All very funny and very true. Keep it up :o)
Paul, Warrington, 9:53 PM 3/03/2011
28
Sorry Dave C I am also one of those part time fans who only watched the blues 7 times last season and I only managed to spend five hundred on merchandise, does that mean I am not entitled to an opinion? MBE as usual spouting his self centred left wing ideology and anybody that doesnt conform is dismissed. Even the journos at the Echo are finally acknowledging the problems the club have from top to bottom. One hopes that reports that we could be finally getting taken over are true. My only concern is my confidence in Moyes spending any available money wisely. Nine years is a long time at any club in the Premiership without success, a clean sweep throughout the club could do us the power of good.
Gareth Fieldstead, Gold Coast Australia, 3:41 PM 3/03/2011
27
Sad times for Everton fans....our best squad in 20 years doesnt have a good season and it now looks like it will be decimated in the summer. Ah well least we've still got Big Bad Victor to ply his trade up front...his goal per game ratio should fire us up that table.
Benno, Liverpool, 1:07 PM 3/03/2011
26
Why is MBE allowed to represnt us to others on this otherwise great site. So sad. If his description of people from Reading was used against scousers there would be blue murder. Double standards by the self satisfying king of no one
Nina, London, 12:33 AM 3/03/2011
25
Why does a decent fanzine like bluekipper allow someone like this represent us? Someone who comes out with "Tory towns that ring corrupt London like a Maginot Line trooped with Sun and Daily Mail readers and a smattering of UKIP nutters. Up to their brief encounter with footy fame you were likely to know more about Godalming Bell Ringers or Bracknell Methodists than you were about Reading" Are you from our way lad? Have you been in the away end recently? Its full of the more embarrassing end of the UKIP vote. Embarrassing. MBE used to be wrong but entertaining. Now just the former. Shame
Dave, That London (used to be Walton), 12:18 AM 3/03/2011
24
The "whining alehouse imbeciles" are passionate about their club and are expressing their frustration, having spent hundreds of pounds of their hard earned cash to follow Everton around the country and watch far too many inept performances from professional footballers who are paid weekly what most of us earn in one or two years! All we ask for is a reciprocal passion on the pitch.
Tim.G, A in M, 11:44 PM 2/03/2011
23
"our own small band of whining, ale-house hollow imbeciles" as you so eloquently put it, just want something to fuckin sing about. At the end of the day, If all the ostriches put there head in the sand at the same time who'd warn them of the approaching tiger?
Tony B, L3, 11:34 PM 2/03/2011
22
This MBE piece gave me the only smile I've had over last night. I liked the Winnie the Pooh and Tory Town cracks :), very funny.
Smegger, Nogsy, 9:07 PM 2/03/2011
21
You slag off our own fans in favour of a club you say are in a tory town, had a stadium built for and named after by an egotistical dick. What a club! the bedrock of football. Its not football anymore its entertainment, when you charge them prices and pay lazy men over 1 million a year thats what create these 'fans' you hate, people are sick and tired of the greed and laziness, they have shorter fuses.
John, Liverpool, 8:49 PM 2/03/2011
20
If a Southerner came out with "one of those run down, depressed, barren, hovels that ring crime-ridden Liverpool like a stained tampon chock full of Tarbucks, Stalinists and a smattering of car-thieves" we would call them for the ignorant prick that they were. Why is your rant at those who live in and around London any different? You Sir are a bitter and pathetic individual. Seeing as you have no respect for others' right to express an opinion perhaps it's time Bluekipper extinguished your bile output and put this 'column' out to pasture permanently.
Andrew Osnard, Panama City, 8:22 PM 2/03/2011
19
Portsmouth are a bad example. They've been bought and sold about 8 times in the last 20 minutes and plunge further into the mire at every turn. I don't think MBE has a problem with constructive criticism, but some of the things that get said by some small sections of our support is nothing short of disgusting. That goes for the good times as well as the bad times, and those groups exist at all clubs. To call what is said in these articles 'bile filled attacks on fellow human beings' is an exageration on a grand scale. And not once has MBE stated that he thinks the current situation is ok by him. If you're bored by it, next time you see an article pop up with his name attached to it, why not skip by it, and read something else? Can't be too good for your health to stress yourself out so much about it.
Grongy, Salford, 6:05 PM 2/03/2011
18
I generally like the MBE editorials this one is spot on. how sad is it that Evertonians everywhere are now looking forward to the Transfer window with still how many games to play. there was a good article in the Guardian about why moyes and everton are losing the plot with lower teams. Clearly I can see Felli going to the Arse in the summer along with johnny or maybe even jags. Manu will be in for Jack and maybe the shite will try to get Bainesy. Mucha and Billy might move on to get more first team footy. soon Neville will reach his expiration date along with king Louis and Distin. The worst thing that can happen is we end up 11th or so in the league and nothing happens in the summer - if so we are doomed next year. Scary that i am thinking about 2012!
jsweeney17, Virginia, 3:44 PM 2/03/2011
17
I'm sick of MBE, they should really stop publishing his stuff on here. I wasted my money on a rubbish game last night, I bet he sat in his armchair watching it on ESPN whilst thinking of his next little rant against his 'fellow' Evertonians. This is the type of blue I do not want to be associated with, if he is a blue at all that is! After all, he whinges like a koppite if anyone even slightly criticises Kenwright or Moyes. Do us a favour MBE, stay in your armchair and cancel your internet subscription. We're all sick of you!
John, of Bootle, 3:19 PM 2/03/2011
16
Same shit different day from MBE. Generalising about the political stance of people outside his own ideology and demonising anybody that doesn't concur with his blinkered brainwashing tactics. Last thing we need after a poor performance from the lads, which we will get over, is this pontificating clown. Eddieparkend COYB
eddieparkend, Real World, 2:45 PM 2/03/2011
15
Last night I think even Godalming Bell Ringers would have beaten us :o( No Fellaini/Cahill = Disaster.
Spectator, Crosby, 2:26 PM 2/03/2011
14
Another arrogant, belittling poststhat seems to be written using the F7 function to ensure a lack of clear speech and a vain attempt to sound intelligent. No wonder people call us bitter. Stick to talking about the football.
Steve , Wirral, 1:57 PM 2/03/2011
13
Usual self-centred & cliched drivel from MBE. Anyone paying to watch that excuse for a performance has the right to express their displeasure in any way but physical. Go back to writing for the Pantomag, ya (k)nob.
Dave/R, Blackburn, 1:41 PM 2/03/2011
12
"As we all know, it doesn't take much to trigger them into neurotic reaction" - How true. I grow tired of part time fans spitting feathers at the first misplaced pass.
Dave C, West Derby, 1:32 PM 2/03/2011
11
When are people going to see through this poisonous bore? His constant attacks on fellow Evertonians are a disgrace and detract from the Blue Kipper site. Rarely have I read such unbridled hatred and bile from an alleged Everton fan. This is only made more nauseating by his prostrating himself before Kenwright/Elstone and the club hierarchy who are dragging this club into obscurity.
Eric Hafabee, Kirkdale, 12:55 PM 2/03/2011
10
we are shite, just get use to it, no Money, manger with an obsession with 4-5-1 and playing the likes of bill and victor, who are shite anyway i had a lovely tea and toast when i got in , so it wasnt all that Bad
Joe Murray, Alder Hey, 12:30 PM 2/03/2011
9
Everton are a team with a bad case of the yips - bring on the finest football teams in England and we'll give them a game. Put them up against a bunch of journeymen and we'll revert to type. How many times has it happened this season? I get your drift about the howlmongers and professional miserable bastards... the airwaves and internet are full of them - but any fool knows that breaking up this team will mean we will be building the new one with less money for players of an equal or better calibre. We're in the shite and no mistake and with a tricky run in and our traditional injury to key player early Spring annual list - it could get much worse. Sack Moyes? And replace him with who you? And who would come? Some nobheads were asking for Benitez on the radio... are you fucking kidding? It used to be that we couldn't compete with the Sky4 for signings - now that list goes all the way down to the likes of Sunderland, Stoke, Blackburn - who would have thought it would have come to this back in 87 - Keep up the good work Micky
kev Sparke, Northumberland, 12:21 PM 2/03/2011
8
MBE's rants used to be good, if a little hard to digest due to his long-winded style of writing..Now all he does, win lose or draw, is make snide comments about anyone with a view that differs to his..Maybe it wont be a bad thing if half the team move on in the summer..Some of them wont be missed one little bit....
Big H, Birkenhead, 12:12 PM 2/03/2011
7
I've seen more guts in a dead sparrow than in that team last night. They were a disgrace to the name professional footballer.
Billy Bump, Huyton, 11:55 AM 2/03/2011
6
Fire and Brimstone! Donner und Blitzen! Sturm und Drang! We're all going to hell ! Sack the Board! Moyes Must Go ! The players don't care ! The Chang is too cold! The pies are horrible ! I'll bet you we win at Newcastle on Satdy tho' ? It's a nap ! Where I do agree Mickey is that our beloved team will break up in the Summer but that's happened before and so it will again, it is the way of things.See ? I've gone all Zen now. COYB FTRS KAG IMWT
Stan Coombs , One of MBE's UKIP towns, 10:35 AM 2/03/2011
5
Get a grip. You pay your money, you can pass comment. "Howl their poison," and I suppose you enjoy seeing our club being run by absolute jokers. Last night we were informed that 5 different groups were in to buy Portsmouth. A club with a worse ground than us, and surely a less advantageous investment for an buyer. If you believe the drivel coming from the club more fool you. "Everton is forsale"...........yea and Liverpool will the league!!! Kenwright out, sell the club and pack your bags
mike, in hiding after that performance, 10:34 AM 2/03/2011
4
It annoys and upsets me when we are beaten by decent teams. But Reading aren't even an average side. They are an average Championship side. Anyone in the top half of the Championship would be disappointed to lose to them at home. It is the cup, and strange things can happen, but our performance last night was awful. Now, I'm not a person who thinks the team's shite because of a bad result, and it's self-evident that Moyes is a very good manager, but what gives here? How can we play like that? It's not the only time this season and it has to stop. Anyway, back to the office...
Rory, Portsmouth, 10:21 AM 2/03/2011
3
Why dont you just call every single one of your posts 'We're mediocre, and that's grand by me'? Does Nil Satis Nisi Optimum mean anything at all to you? I applaud the 'usual dick head suspects', at least they are displaying some displeasure at a once great team that is being run into the ground by a luvvy idiot!
Neil, Brisbane, 9:32 AM 2/03/2011
2
Can't begin to tell you how bored I am by these arrogant diatribes. Your bile filled attacks on fellow human beings is a disgrace.
John, Hereford, 9:15 AM 2/03/2011
1
Spot on Mickey, This team will break up with Felli, Johnny, Billy and jack all prime targets to move on for various reasons. The manager will then have to replace the above with at least the same numbers of players who will have a bit more about them. I can't remember a team performance with less heart than last night. Maybe we need to pay them all more money!!!!
Rob D, Childwall, 8:24 AM 2/03/2011
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